You know how when you jump into a pool and just let yourself sink to the bottom? How you feel the pressure of all the water on top of you pressing down? And how everything gets darker and colder? What if there was no bottom?
What if you kept sinking and sinking, the weight of the world pressing down on you, the rippling shine of the sun getting smaller and weaker?
What if you decided there's no hope for me, that I'm dead weight without a purpose except to keep sinking pulling down everything with me.
My hopes.
My dreams.
My loves.
My life.
All of it sinking...
Sinking down...
And down...
And down...
Until your gone?
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
I Am my Own worst Enemy
What happens when you don't let what other people think of you matter? What happens when you decide that you are your own man despite what the world has in store? What happens?
Then you become fully responsible for what you do. Everything you do, think, feel and don't do are your fault. You are the one to blame no matter how you look at it. You are your own person. You steal, it's your fault. You hurt someone, it's your fault. You forget something and then get boned for it, it's your fault. You fall in love with someone, its your fault, your responsibility, your obligation. But what you do afterwards is also your fault to.
You return whats stolen, your fault. You help that person, your fault. You resolve to be responsible, your fault. You decide to love because you WANT to, not because you have to, your fault.
Fault is not something negative, its merely synonymous with responsibility and what you could call, growing up.
A rant by me.
Then you become fully responsible for what you do. Everything you do, think, feel and don't do are your fault. You are the one to blame no matter how you look at it. You are your own person. You steal, it's your fault. You hurt someone, it's your fault. You forget something and then get boned for it, it's your fault. You fall in love with someone, its your fault, your responsibility, your obligation. But what you do afterwards is also your fault to.
You return whats stolen, your fault. You help that person, your fault. You resolve to be responsible, your fault. You decide to love because you WANT to, not because you have to, your fault.
Fault is not something negative, its merely synonymous with responsibility and what you could call, growing up.
A rant by me.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Am I a Vampire?
Disclaimer: Alot of people will think this is bull but I'm just sharing an experience I had. This is mostly my interpretation of the information given to me so forgive me for inconsistancies.
So I was board one day a couple months back and go onto MySpace's forums. Some cool stuff there and about... more than half the people in the sections I post in are intelligent. The Philosophy and Religion forum, usually the general subforum.
Anyway, I was looking around and find someone talking about vampires. I think to myself wtf and open the thread out of curiosity. Turns out someone was looking for other people online that were vampires like her. Not the generalized blood sucking kind by psi-vamps as she and others call them. So I'm reading the thread, its actually kinda old so theres over 50 pages of replys, and see that the thread starter, lets call her Ashley, posted a website describing what a psi-vamp was.
Clicking on the site brought me to this dark, not satanic but certainly not happy-happy-joy-joy and was greeted by a disclaimer saying that this is a real site for a real vampire community yatta yatta. I explored the site a little bit and quickly saw something describing WHAT psi-vamps are. Essentially they are regular people, but not quite. Imagine the human body as a bucket being filled with water and this water is energy or chi as some people call it. Well with these psi-vamps, they are basically leaky buckets. Obviously humans would need this energy right? Well before they "awaken" most psi-vamps are what we would call emo. But more extreeme. Because of this lack of energy they are constantly clinically depressed. But a natural way for them to overcome this lack is to siphon off energy from others.
This is where the connection to vampirism comes from, essentially life-force, not blood, is being taken from normal people so that vampires can survive. While nothing points to the neccecity of feeding as its called, the fact seems that if one doesn't feed, they will unconsiously take too much of other people's energy. The site is somewhat of a helpful guide for new "awakened" vampires, vampires who realize their power.
So I stopped and thought, when am I most happy? I think while with a large group of people (ex. my school marching band or a dance) I have alot of excess energy that I can hardly contain. And when I'm on my own, playing video games online for example, I dont have this same sense of energetic restlessness. So being physically around other people makes me... more energetic basically. Am I then a psi-vamp like this site suggests? (Completely forgot the site btw...)
So I was board one day a couple months back and go onto MySpace's forums. Some cool stuff there and about... more than half the people in the sections I post in are intelligent. The Philosophy and Religion forum, usually the general subforum.
Anyway, I was looking around and find someone talking about vampires. I think to myself wtf and open the thread out of curiosity. Turns out someone was looking for other people online that were vampires like her. Not the generalized blood sucking kind by psi-vamps as she and others call them. So I'm reading the thread, its actually kinda old so theres over 50 pages of replys, and see that the thread starter, lets call her Ashley, posted a website describing what a psi-vamp was.
Clicking on the site brought me to this dark, not satanic but certainly not happy-happy-joy-joy and was greeted by a disclaimer saying that this is a real site for a real vampire community yatta yatta. I explored the site a little bit and quickly saw something describing WHAT psi-vamps are. Essentially they are regular people, but not quite. Imagine the human body as a bucket being filled with water and this water is energy or chi as some people call it. Well with these psi-vamps, they are basically leaky buckets. Obviously humans would need this energy right? Well before they "awaken" most psi-vamps are what we would call emo. But more extreeme. Because of this lack of energy they are constantly clinically depressed. But a natural way for them to overcome this lack is to siphon off energy from others.
This is where the connection to vampirism comes from, essentially life-force, not blood, is being taken from normal people so that vampires can survive. While nothing points to the neccecity of feeding as its called, the fact seems that if one doesn't feed, they will unconsiously take too much of other people's energy. The site is somewhat of a helpful guide for new "awakened" vampires, vampires who realize their power.
So I stopped and thought, when am I most happy? I think while with a large group of people (ex. my school marching band or a dance) I have alot of excess energy that I can hardly contain. And when I'm on my own, playing video games online for example, I dont have this same sense of energetic restlessness. So being physically around other people makes me... more energetic basically. Am I then a psi-vamp like this site suggests? (Completely forgot the site btw...)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
